What’s the REAL Reason You Reach for Your Phone?

With one simple practice, we can better understand the real reasons behind that impulse to be on our phones. The first step is easy! All you have to do is attach a paper clip, sticker or key ring to your phone so that every time you pick it up, there it will be, reminding you to ask what the real need is to be on your phone right then. It will amaze you to see what’s actually lying underneath that incessant urge.

Give it a try! As you do so, you’ll likely spot patterns in yourself you didn’t know were there. You’ll not only understand yourself better, you’ll start to question what’s really best for you.

Let’s look at a few of the more obscure reasons why we want to get on our phones.

What’s Really Going On?

• We’re not used to having nothing to do. The idea of just sitting there with our own thoughts might seem weird. What would happen? Can we be stuck with our own thoughts for half an hour when no other distractions are readily at hand? People generally find that to be more difficult now than it used to be.
• We want to get something taken care of before we forget. Knowing how busy our minds tend to be, and in order to avoid having to think about it later, we often reach for our phones just to mentally check something off our list of things we don’t want to have to think about later.
• We’re wanting to avoid an awkward or uncomfortable moment. Maybe we’re in a group of people we don’t know. Maybe we’re with people we know well, but can’t relate to. Or maybe it just feels awkward to be surrounded by people who are all on their phones and you’re not! Either way, it’s common to get on our phones so we don’t have to face whatever alternative is right in front of us.
• We’re curious. We think of something–like the sports score we haven’t checked yet, the friend who said they’d send a recipe we’ve been wanting through What’sApp, or the latest news story that might explain why the flag is at half-mast. Whatever it is, with it being so easy to have the answer in an instant, reaching for our phones so often makes sense.
• We want to feel we’re making the most of our time. Our culture emphasizes productivity. We often equate getting things done with personal worth, which is debatable. Regardless, some of us get a thrill out of knowing we’re staying ahead of ‘the game.’ We’re replying to email, checking in with a sick friend, transferring money in our bank accounts, finishing an online assignment. It’s satisfying to be able to stay in git ‘er done mode for as long as possible throughout the day.